Auto Dealers to Tesla: ‘We Would Like Some of the Money’ [Spoof]
REPRINTED APRIL 1, 2015—A lawyer representing U.S. auto dealers is asking Tesla Motors to “cease and desist! Or just cease. Or desist. We can discuss the options,” in response to the upstart EV manufacturer’s direct-to-consumer sales model.
“I’m telling you, people love negotiating,” writes an unnamed attorney from the firm of Dwayne & Johnson, on behalf of the Totally Useful Retail Dealer Society. “Consumers hate having a clear, fixed price that everyone understands. The dealer-franchise model lets them feel as if they got a deal, while not really getting a deal. Everyone wins.”
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As for Tesla, “you may enjoy selling your cars with no middleman and just keeping all the money. But I ask, have you considered letting us have some of that money? It is our position that we would like some of the money.”